I’ve always been of the opinion that the best laughs are the ones that make you laugh and gag at the same time. Parenthood has done nothing but exacerbate that for me, and unfortunately…maybe by default…also for my husband. I was reflecting on this after a hurried trip to the gas station. As I was walking back to the car, I noticed a real suspicious chunk dried on to my nursing pendant. I removed the suspicious chunk and decided to let PackDaddy play along. I instructed him to close his eyes and open his hand…having placed the gem in his palm, I gleefully asked “mango or booger?!” Now, you know you’ve been partners in parenting for a LONG time when these games amuse both of you…anyone in their right mind would only be tricked into that game once…
We started discussing other “fun” games we have played as parents. No more beer pong. (PackMam…we never played beer pong, I PROMISE…) No more cute tickle games, no more spin the bottle, gone is the “You hang up first” phone phase. Here’s a list of games we can recall chuckling over since we had kids:
1)Poop or Fart? (Pro version includes a who’s the culprit factor)
2)What did the baby just eat? (Pro version: can you guess it by breath-smelling)
3)What did the baby eat to turn poop this color?
4)Here…hold this…(always a classic)
5)What’s in my hair and how long has it been there?
6)I.D. the non-flusher by the poop characteristics
7)Who peed on our bed while we were in it
8)Who peed on the floor (Pro version; baby, dog, or cat)
9)What’s clogging the drain?
10)What’s overflowing the toilet?
11)What’s floating in my drink?…you want to try to catch this one early…
12)Who’s writing is this in permanent marker on the _____?
13)Booger or food chunk on the wall?
14)Who puked this up? (Pro version: baby, dog, or cat?)
15)Where did you get that fruit snack? IS that a fruit snack?
Anyway…I could go on and on. I guess the moral of the story is that parenting isn’t pretty. It’s USUALLY not sunshine and roses around here. In fact; these adorable little yard apes are pretty disgusting little creatures! It takes a lot of soap, a lot of elbow grease, a strong stomach and an even stronger constitution to parent a pack like ours. But it’s worth it.